So, I'm working away one day when I get an email from an old friend. He tells me that he's got this great surprise for me, and the next time he comes to town, he'll give it to me. I say "great!" After all, what harm could it do?

Then, about a week later, Scott and his wife Laura drop by and give me the Jones Soda Happy Chanukah Pack: 4 Chanukah-themed sodas. Joy and rapture!

This year, give the gift of soda. Also moustaches.

So, it came to pass that Scott, Laura, Chippy Sunshine and I decided to have:

Chanukah in September

Ok, ok, so I'll admit that it's not the catchiest of titles. It's no 'Christmas in July' for sure, but it's better than 'Halloween in January' or 'Easter in December'.

We threw the soda in the fridge for a couple of hours to let them cool off, and then got to drinking.

(Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes they are kosher.)

Drats...that's one chance at irony ruined.

So, much like other soda tasting experiments before this one, we all wrote down what we thought of each drink and then rated each out of 10. Why? Because it would be too much trouble to do the calculations if the scores were out of 17.

We grabbed what we assumed would be the best one first. Apple sauce. Hell, we all grew up with it as kids. It's good. Apple sauce is safe. We all like it. This will be a good soda.

I didn't know that apple sauce was Chanukah-ish, but a quick Wikipedia break showed us that it's used as a topping for latkes. Waitaminute...I think latke is one of the flavors. Should we be mixing these? Well, what's it matter anyway? Let's drink!

Scott:
Smells a bit like cider, but not as good. The unknown taste half conjures a memory from childhood, possibly the beginning of a long pilgrimage.

Laura:
Smells like a fine white wine - we had to check to see if the soda had turned. Tastes like corn syrup, but the No-Name corn syrup, not a brand name. Not terrible.

Chippy:
Smells like apple wine. Not enough cinnamon to be apple sauce.

Jordan:
Smells like sweet cider. Tastes like candy floss or candy corn. B+...would drink again.

Chippy enjoys the smell of a good apple sauce.

Totals:
Scott:		(6/10)
Laura:		(4/10)
Chippy:		(5/10)
Jordan:		(4/10)
Total:		(4.75/10)

Going next in the list was Jelly Donut. We could all imagine the jelly part, but donut? How do make a soda taste like fried dough? Of course, Jones is the soda maker that figured out how to make Pepto Bismol into a flavor, so they must know what they're doing.

Scott:
Smells like a poor quality jelly donut. Tastes like a heavy-syrup beer hangover.

Laura:
Assaults the nasal passages with an acidic sweet berry scent. This has a mouthfeel like powdered sugar!! Not really awful, but pretty weird.

Chippy:
Smells like children's liquid cold and flu medicine. Tastes like a candy necklace.

Jordan:
Smells like fu-fu berry. Feels like a powdered donut on the tongue. It tastes like raspberry and coconut. How did they do this? It's madness!

Laura pours us a glass of donut.

Totals:
Scott:		(2/10)
Laura:		(4/10)
Chippy:		(4/10)
Jordan:		(4/10)
Total:		(3.50/10)

The next soda in the list was Chocolate Coin. I was really excited about this one believe it or not. I tried for months to find a bottle of Crush Chocolate soda for the Great Crush Tasting, but had failed. It's got to be good right? It's chocolate...in a soda! Hell, Bill Cosby loves them! It's got to be good!

Scott:
Smells like tootsie rolls. Tastes like flat root beer that's been recarbonated and combined with a piece from a tootsie roll.

Laura:
Tootsie rolls were not intended to be liquid.

Chippy:
Overwhelmingly sweet chocolate Quik smell. It's like snorting chocolate syrup straight up your nose. It tastes like they forgot to mix in milk and used flat rootbeer instead.

Jordan:
Smells like truffles (the candy, not the mushroom). Sharp taste, but it's very much like tootsie rolls. I'm very undecided. Is it good? I can't really tell. It could be like carbonated ass mixed with Quik syrup, but I just can't decide.

Chocolate...in a soda? This is madness!

Totals:
Scott:		(4/10)
Laura:		(1/10)
Chippy:		(3/10)
Jordan:		(4/10)
Total:		(3.00/10)

The final flavor was Latke. We were all kind of nervous about this one. For those of you who don't know, a latke is a potato pancake. It's not really sweet, and we haven't had a lot of experience with savory sodas. The fact that it had almost no sugar and a ton of salt in it also made us wary.

Scott:
Tasted like club soda mixed with the remains of abandoned drinks at a wedding reception.

Laura:
Smells like a baby wipe. The taste is more terrible than I could have imagined. It's salty! Tastes like drinking from a glass of water with one of those denture cleaning tablets in it (I imagine).

Chippy:
Smells like orange Gatorade powder. Tastes like club soda and baking soda. It totally cleanses the jelly donut powdery taste away.

Jordan:
Looks like piss. It tastes salty. Dear God in Heaven why is it salty? Why? It's like somebody decided to make a soda-pop in baking soda flavor.

Scott reacts to the powerful taste of liquid latke.

Totals:
Scott:		(1/10)
Laura:		(0/10)
Chippy:		(1/10)
Jordan:		(1/10)
Total:		(0.75/10)

All-in-all, it was a pretty good, and what's more, I got a free dreidel out of the deal! The flavors were different, but for the most part not disgusting. Aside from Latke, we didn't gag. But the gagging Latke gave us will live on for the rest of the year. And in the end isn't that what Happy Chanukah Pack is all about?

Sweet.

Now, just in case you were curious, here are the average scores for each of us. As you can see, Laura's a bit more discriminating than the rest of us, but considering that the total score for each is out of 10, we all found it pretty average.

Drinker Averages:
Scott:		(3.25/10)
Laura:		(2.25/10)
Chippy:		(3.25/10)
Jordan:		(3.25/10)

Happy Chanukah in September Everybody!

Bad soda makes Laura sad.

• The Great Crush Tasting
• The Nutrisoda Experiment
• Top 10 Worst Variations on Good Sodas