Jordan's Page of Useless Babble



An Epic Saga

Chapter 2: Crimes against Humanity or Tasty Snack?

Now that I had my hands on the cereal, it was time to do something with it. I had to bake. But what would I bake? I decided that three different desserts would probably be best for this experiment.

The source material listed two desserts that I assume hadn't been attempted before. I decided to start there, and then see where the night took me.

The first was a variation of the Rice Krispies treat that was dubbed Chocula Crispy Treats. I figured that this would be the easiest to do. After all, how hard is it to fuck up making Rice Krispies treats?

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Everything seemed to come together quite nicely, the marbits in the cereal started to melt when they mixed with the rest of the ingredients, and the result came out to be an extra chewy bar with an extra crunch from the cereal.

Score One Point for Awesome.
Score One Point for Awesome.

For bonus points, all the extra marshmallows gave the mass the appearance of a spider web when they were going into the pan. Spoooky!

Spooooooky!
Spooooooky!

Next up, was Chocula Brownies. I made up a batch of brownie batter, and then mixed in a couple of cups of the cereal. Nothing too difficult to make. I finished off the dish by sprinkling a handful of Count Chocula on the top before throwing it in the oven.

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The marbits inside the batter soaked up a little of the liquid from the brownie batter, and did something that I thought impossible: rehydrate. The now soft marshmallow pieces then melted a little as the brownies cooked, leaving the whole dessert looking like a cross between rocky-road and a smore.

Hehehe...the ghost pieces look like they're trying to escape!
Hehehe...the ghost pieces look like they're trying to escape!

Finally, I was left with one more dessert to cook, but I didn't have any more references to work from. What's more, I was now out of butter, and I had barely enough milk left to do anything. It was time for a Hail Mary. It was time to improvise.

What I came up with was this:


The Count's Slimer-Cookies

Ingredients:

  • 1 pkg. of pistachio instant pudding mix
  • 1 cup of bisquik
  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup of Count Chocula cereal
  • Preheat the oven to 350°F / 175°C. Remove marshmallows from cereal and crush into crumbs. Mix pudding mix and bisquik in bowl. Mix egg, oil and sugar in a separate container. Stir egg mixture into dry ingredients until a ball of dough is formed (this works best with hands).

    Split mixture into balls. Place dough balls on ungreased cookie tray and flatten. Sprinkle with sugar and place a marshmallow from the cereal on each.

    Bake for 5 - 8 minutes or until the cookies feel set to the touch. Cool on a wire rack.


    For a shot in the dark, the Slimer-Cookies turned out great: like the bastard child of a biscotti and a sugar cookie, and the green color makes them perfect for Halloween.

    It's slime green...so Halloweeny, right?
    It's slime green...so Halloweeny, right?

    So, there it's all done. There's only one thing left...


    Chapter 3: The Verdict

    Now that the baking is done, it's time for the work to begin. It's not enough to make this stuff, that could very well be a Holocaust of the senses, but I've actually got to eat it too.

    Well, no time like the present.

    Chocula Crispy Treat
    This thing actually tastes a lot like a Rice Krispies treat, but it's sweeter, and there's a definite hint of chocolate there. The marbits have melted entirely, and there's no finding any of them. I didn't go through with the source's suggestion and add more chocolate to the mix, but in retrospect I'm really glad that I didn't. There's just so much sweetness here, I don't think that anybody could have more than a small piece at a time. Diabetes, here I come!

    Chocula Brownies
    The brownies are soft and moist. The cereal inside has taken in some of that moisture and become soft but not mushy. The result is that the brownies have an interesting mouthfeel. The slight resistance of the cereal and the sweet marbits contrast nicely with the brownie. If possible, I think that the brownies are even more chocolately.

    Slimer-Cookies
    The Slimer-cookies taste strongly of pistachios, with a slight hint of chocolate. The marbit that was placed on top didn't stick to the cookie during baking though, so it fell off quite quickly. All in all, it's quite pleasant, and not nearly as sweet as the other desserts.

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