Jordan's Page of Useless Babble



Super Canucks
"Stop eh? It's time to face justice you hoser!"

So, we've already checked out the top 5 Canadian Superheroes, so now it's time to take a look at the other side of the coin: the top 5 Canadian Super Villains. Strangely enough, there were even fewer villains to pick from than there were heroes, and there's no place in the list for mediocre.

So, without further introduction...


The Top 5 Canadian Super Villains
Deadly Ernest
5. Deadly Ernest

AKA: Ernest Desjardins
Birthplace: Ajax, Ontario
Affiliations: None
Super Powers: Able to reproduce Group of Seven painting with accuracy and trap people within.
Source: Marvel Comics

Ernest Desjardins is to paint as Spiderman is to spiders. No, he wasn't bitten by radioactive paint. Deadly Ernest is a paint-huffer! After sniffing some paint that had been contaminated with radiation from the Pickering Nuclear facility, Ernest gained his super powers: to reproduce the works of the Group of Seven and trap people within.

I frankly dislike the Group of Seven, so I could few fates worse than being forced to remain in one for an extended amount of time. Unfortunately, Deadly Ernest's career was short lived after he was decapitated by Puck. He makes the list because of his bewilderingly specific super power and the fact that he was also color-blind, making his power so much more impressive.

Plastique
4. Plastique

AKA: Bette Sans Souci
Birthplace: Quebec
Affiliations: Suicide Squad, Extreme Justice
Super Powers: Ability to project explosive force.
Source: Marvel Comics

Plastique is a bit of an oddball. Her first attempt at villainy resulted in her being stripped by Firestorm and left naked in the streets after she attempted to destroy the New York Herald-Express offices in a suicide bombing. Later she attempted to destroy the Parliament Buildings in Ottawa, the Statue of Liberty in New York and kill both the Prime Minister of Canada and the President of the United States in one fell swoop, but was thwarted by Captain Atom.

She then received a pardon by both countries she had targeted and married Captain Atom. Although now she works as a government agent, she still has the potential to return to her terrorist roots, maybe taking her hero hubby with her. And that's why she's number 4 in our hearts

Wendigo
3. Wendigo

AKA: Several people have been cursed to become the Wendigo
Birthplace: Canadian North
Affiliations: None
Super Powers: Super strength, super durability, super endurance, healing factor, hardened talons.
Source: Marvel Comics

Quick, name five villains who can put a serious hurt on the Incredible Hulk. If you didn't include Wendigo on your list, there's something wrong with you. Wendigo, unlike most Marvel characters, is not a mutant, but a cursed being, or several beings. The Wendigo curse is meant to afflict anybody who resorts to cannibalism, and it has been the bane of many people in the Marvel universe.

Wendigo can stand up to Wolverine and the Hulk, and can easily create more of himself by feeding his heart (which he can regrow thanks to his healing factor) to another person, even forcefully. This makes him tough and dangerous, but like all magic-based characters, he is vulnerable to being cured, which removes the curse entirely.

Hyena
2. Hyena

AKA: Creed H. Quinn
Birthplace: Unknown
Affiliations: The Pack
Super Powers: Healing factor, adaptation to cold climates, superhuman physical condition, adamantium-laced bones, retractable talons and pain resistance.
Source: Amalgam Comics

Hyena, from the Amalgam universe combines all the powers and abilities of Sabretooth from Marvel with the Joker from DC. The arch-nemesis of Dark Claw (combining Wolverine and Batman), he became insane after his bones were laced with adamantium.

It's hard to describe this short-lived villain anymore, but think of the Joker with all the strength and cunning of Sabretooth and you've got one hell of a bad-ass.

Mist
1. The Mist

AKA: Kyle, Johnathon Smythe (alias)
Birthplace: Unknown
Affiliations: None
Super Powers: Can take a gaseous form, ability to hypnotize others.
Source: DC Comics

The Mist was once a soldier in World War I, who distinguished himself and earned the Victoria Cross. During the opening days of World War II, he started a life of crime, beginning with fighting against Sandman in New York and later against Starman in Opal City. After many years, the Mist succumbed to Alzheimer's disease, and after one last crime wave, he slipped away into a delusional state, to leave his daughter to pick up where he left off.

Some time later, he was able to sell his soul to Neron in exchange for his sanity. He teamed up with his daughter and later killed the arch-villain Simon Culp on the grounds that he hates people with dwarfism. He was soon after killed by his arch-nemesis Starman, the elder Ted Knight in a battle that killed the retired hero as well.

The Mist is number 1 because even in the grips of senility, he's one bad-ass villain.

So, what have we learned? Well, just because you're Canadian doesn't mean that you have to plaster your costume with maple leaves. Substance abuse is a great way to gain a super power. And if you're a Canadian superhero, you probably have a healing factor and the body of an olympic athelete. Now take off you hosers.

Shut your mouth when men are talking.

Did you like this article? Then try:

Bookmark and Share