By attending Richard Joe Nita's seminars, you'll unlock the secrets of language that will help you use less babble in your daily conversations.
Use fewer syllables!
Words with many parts are harder to say and they can make your brain tired. Stop making your brain tired and learn to speak with as few as one syllable per word.
Instead of saying:
Excuse me, where can I find the library?
You'll learn to say:
Yo man, where's the books and shit?
Stop using synonyms!
Synonyms are an evil of the modern world, created by big corporations to make their products sound better to us. You don't need synonyms to live your life. Cut them out and tell the Man that you won't play by his rules!
Big companies have invented over 30 words to confuse you when you think of the word 'good'. You can thwart their schemes by learning to just say 'good'.
Adjectives are for advertisements!
Adjectives are like synonyms; they exist only to make you confused and to hurt your brain. When somebody asks you how your day was, why do you say "pretty good"?
It's because corporations want to hurt you!
Richard Joe Nita will teach you to stop using adjectives. 'Pretty good' will become good. 'Really good' will become plus good. 'Very good' will become double-plus good. You will unlock the chains that hold you down!
Punctuation is obsolete!
Learn the secrets to communication that only Richard Joe Nita can teach you! You'll discover that you don't need punctuation to make your points known. You don't need commas, periods, exclamation points, question marks or apostrophes; you don't need them!
Still not convinced?
Richard Joe Nita has even taught his secrets to Pulitzer Prize winning author Cormac McCarthy: author of No Country for Old Men and The Road, both of which have become major Hollywood movies! Cormac McCarthy doesn't need punctuation, and neither do you!
You don't need vowels!
Vowels are becoming obsolete. You don't need vowels to express your thoughts to others! All they do is waste time and take up valuable brain energy. Give your tongue a rest by eliminating vowels from your speech.
Disciples of Richard Joe Nita will learn to say things like:
"Hpp prl fls dy wndrfl ppl! Th ld ndx pg fr Jrdn's Pg f slss Bbbl wll b bck p n prl scnd!"
See how easy that is? Unlock the power of your mind and make your tongue do your bidding!
Twenty consonants is too many!
Even without vowels, there are too many letters. We're not living in communist China. You don't need one letter that means 'tree' and another one that means 'back-alley massage parlor'! This is America!
Superfluous letters can be eliminated from your daily speech. Learn to write faster by learning to stop using useless letters! Why use 'c' or 'x' when 'k' can work three times as much? W is one u too many for you! Cut it down to just one U, and then cut that out, because it's a vowel, and you don't need vowels!
Richard Joe Nita is a big-time self-help guru and author of fifteen books on language and how you can use your brain to become successful beyond your wildest imagination!
He has held seminars and workshops for CEOs and BIG-TIME HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES!
Be successful and register for Richard Joe Nita's Secrets to Language today!
A single 3-day workshop includes:
Each workshop session costs only $299.95. Do yourself and your brain a favor and register for the next workshop today!
And have a happy April Fool's Day from Useless Babble.