Jordan's Page of Useless Babble

Easter: a time of renewal and growth. The herald of summer to come. It's a time when flowers start to bloom and all the world looks to be in the midst of blossoming.

God damn it.

You know what? This snow is bullshit! Screw it! I'm going to take over the world.

Evil face.

Not only will I take over the world. I'll do it using the very implements of Easter! That's right! This is a themed world domination! I'm not saying that once I'm your master and controller that I'll keep with the Easter theme, but for openers, I'm going to have the whole thing down pat.

First, I'm going to use this! A grow-a-chick! A monstrous chicken that breathes fire and can turn men to stone with a merest glance! Sure the box is innocent enough.

Darkness is contained within.

Look closer, and you see the true darkness within this putrid purple and pink packaging!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

See! The box commands you to not consume the contents! They are poisonous as the very spittle of Satan himself and I shall turn this egg of evil to my control! All I must do is place the egg and water and wait. Evil will take it from there.

The destruction of the world is neigh.

As my hell-spawned hatchling grows ever more powerful, I must turn my attentions the grow-a-bunny! Not just any bunny, but one that will grow to 600% its original size!

Fear me puny mortals!

This grow-a-bunny though now small and insignificant will become such a monstrous proportion that I will easily be able to set it loose across cities where it will destroy all within my way!

Evil genius' renditioning of a grow-a-bunny destroying a city

All it takes is a little water and it too shall become my willing slave in my campaign against everything. A small glass to start, but soon, you'll require a full sized bacta tank and maybe even a pool. Rest now little grow-a-bunny. In 12-72 hours, your reign of evil begins!

Bunny bacta tank.

While those grow, I need something else to occupy my time. I can't just spend all my time waiting! That's why James Bond is always able to save the day. The villains don't have other stuff on the go! I've turned my omnipotent gaze towards:

Science isn't just fun, it can be turned to darker purposes.

Capsules! Yes, evil Easter capsules that are said to contain monsters within.

Your destruction has been long as these aren't asprin.

Just a small handful and I'm ready to destroy the world!

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